Mendy

Greenleigh makes a claim about how history should be taught to teenagers without needlessly distilling moral lessons from historical events. While this may or may not be a valid claim to make, Greenleigh fails to back his claim appropriately. To support his claim he quotes Joe McCarthy, but never states who Joe McCarthy is. Greenleigh assumes his audience, UT students, knows who Joe McCarthy is. When using a quote it is beneficial to state who the person is and why they are a creditable source to quote on the topic you are trying prove to your audience. Joe McCarthy was a senator who fought Communism in the United States and the term McCarthyism comes from his name. He had nothing to do with textbooks or the SBoE. So the students who know who Joe McCarthy is might find that he is an inappropriate historical figure to quote. To further argue his claim he states that we should not condone the actions of American heroes such as Rosa Parks, or Texas legends such as Stephen F. Austin. Is Greenleigh stating that our new textbooks will condone these figures actions? While he never states that, he seems to be implying it. Most Americans today know these two important figures in History. Do you really think the Republicans would condone their actions in history textbook? Don't you think there would be a public outcry? Implying such a bold statement without facts to back the statement makes the author lose credibility with his audience.

When writing a persuasive paper, the writer should try to make his paper flow by using correct grammar and paragraph syntax. Greenleigh seems to of missed this concept completely. If he would have read through his paper more thoroughly I think he might of noticed that he spelled Stephen F Austin's name incorrectly. He spells Stephen with a "v" as well as a "ph" in the same paragraph. Greenleigh also fails to be clear and concise. His sentences seem to be long and hard to follow. He also has several run-ons that would have been more effective if broken apart. He misused many adjectives as well. In one sentence he states that Texas has the second biggest textbook market in the U.S. How can a textbook market be "big?" I believe he meant largest textbook market in the U.S. There is also several verbs that don't agree with the plural or singular subject. Subject verb agreement is taught in the sixth grade in all Texas public schools. What does this do to the author's credibility? Would you believe an author was a good writer and researcher if he can correct elementary grammar and spelling mistakes? Lastly, the articles syntax fails to keep the flow of the article. When Greenleigh makes his claims, his supporting material can be found in other paragraphs. Instead of keeping all the related material together in one paragraph, he breaks it into two or three paragraphs. You will also notice his negligence to use topic sentences as well as closing statements. There is very little flow from one paragraph to the next. It is hard to follow an author's points in an article when the topics change so abruptly.